Down in the dumps....

Its diwali holidays, the time when everyone's happy, celebrating and enjoying.......well, i'm not everyone. I'm at the peak of being depressed right now.....I'd be richer than Bill Gates, if sorrow was money. I don't know the exact reason why I'm depressed......a lot of factors are contributing to the way my mood is. To begin with, I was actually planning to write about something else for this post, and it didn't come out as well as i expected, so I dropped it, which made me feel bad. I'd been planning it for long. Also, i'm suffering from a real lack of inspiration haven't written anything good since i came to this college. I had written the poem in my first post long back, when i was in school.

Secondly, I had planned atleast 2 movies with my friends. My plan flopped......my friend managed to get himself an ED special class to attend from out of nowhere at the last moment. Really annoying.....

And the third and the most important cause is, I HAVE A DAMN BASIC COMMUNICATION ENGINEERING TEST ON WEDNESDAY!! Basic Communication Engineering is a pain in the neck, if you ask me. The prospect of actually writing a test on the damn subject is certainly far from appealing. And added to the fact that I, being the genius I am, managed to leave my textbook back in the hostel, makes the idea of writing the test really, really uninviting.
Because, without the textbook, we are finished (Having the text book too doesn't make much difference, you can't understand the damn subject anyway. But you get the comforting feeling that even the author doesn't know what he is saying). My basic communication lecturer is already sort of displeased with me.....I sleep openly in her classes, and she's caught me sleeping often. And my dismal performance in the midsemester examinations did nothing to improve her opinion about me. She probably thinks I'm a brainless fool (Its perfectly fair, though. My idea about her is nearly the same).

It all started like this......one fine day, we EEE students were unfortunate enough to have a basic communication engineering class. As expected, the class put me in a coma. When i woke up, i found myself staring into the eyes of a great ugly monster that was looking at me as though it was about to gobble me up. I rubbed my eyes and strained them, by which act, i discovered that the great ugly monster was actually my lecturer. She asked me to stand up......and I managed to accomplish the feat really well. The reader must understand that i was not yet completely out of my coma; I was still in a highly delirious state. I really don't remember what she was telling me, but i guessed it was something unpleasant. After a minute of yelling at me, she asked "What are the advantages of Frequency Discrimination method?" I was about to say "Frequency Discrimination? Sorry ma'am, i don't know the chap", when it suddenly struck my clever brain that she was probably asking some question from what she'd been teaching. That didn't make Frequency Discrimination any more familiar to me, however. So i did the best thing i could do.......total silence....My lecturer was obviously not pleased, that i could understand. And so she said, "I'm going to mark you absent because you were mentally absent." That really made me angry. I attend the class only for the sake of attendance. Had wasted 50 minutes for nothing that day. She was going to note down my name and she told me so. I obliged her request by stating my name. She said "What?" And i stated my name again. And once again, she said, "What?" Well, i knew her iq level was a bit low, but didn't imagine it to be that bad. So, i spelled out my name loudly for her. The class burst out laughing.....and that started it....the conflict of wills between me and the lecturer...

Well, coming back to the point, there are other reasons too, why I'm depressed. But i really don't feel like sharing them...they are not that depressing as the BCE test is.....yawn.....am gonna go back to sleep....

Whew! Finally got through with my midsems. Am setting new standards for scoring low marks, especially in basic communication engineering. Given below is a set of guidelines on how to write, or rather, screw up exams really well. I compiled them just before my board exams (an ideal way to spend study holidays, instead of studying, if you ask me). I seriously considered trying a few of these in my midsems....

Ways To Spice Up Your Exams

Exams can get really boring sometimes......well, all the time for me. Following certain simple guidelines can help you screw up your exams very easily. Try the following in your exams if you are bored and sure of failing...
1.Read the question paper thoroughly. If you don't know any answers, read it again. If you still don't have any idea what the questions are about, start writing a mordern day version of romeo and juliet.
2.Watch a movie the day before your exams and write a review of it in your answer sheet.
3.Answer every alternate sentence in black ( guaranteed to irritate the person who corrects your paper.
4.Answer any diagram questions by drawing the examiners face from different angles.
5.Write ten reasons why you think you deserve the lead role in ManiRatnam's next movie.
6.Answer your paper in different languages.
7.Bring a log book to English exam and pretend to do calculations. If asked, just say you are calculating the probability of passing the paper.
8.Appeal to the religious sentiments of the person who corrects your paper. Whenever
there is a question you can't answer, write "JESUS, HELP ME!"
9.If the question paper is exceptionally long and tiresome, try putting in the lyrics for 'Thee Pidikka' song somewhere in the middle of an essay question and see if your teacher notices while correcting the paper.

My First Blog

Well Hi! This is the first time i'm blogging. I'm actually kind of lazy, really lazy infact, so can't be posting often.......so here goes.....i've been at this goddamn place you call an engineering college for the past 2 months, and it is certainly a very happening place. I've changed a lot in these 2 months......i don't flinch anymore when i see someone swearing really really indecently. If i did i'd have to keep flinching all the time....and there has been a drastic fall in the hygiene i practise.....i use more deospray than drinking water these days . And there is the gentlemen's mess, though i really don't see what there is so gentlemanly about it.......neither the mess staff nor the students who dine there can be called 'gentlemen'. Well, coming to the point, the mess food, though not inedible, is certainly far from edible. And about my roommates....i have two, Ela and Andy. Well, they were actually named Anand Elamaran and Anandaraman by their parents, but there is no point in using such long names...is there? One is from Salem and the other from Namakkal.....small town boys with big mouths, especially Andy. They are kind of fun to be with, but i hate the kind of look they give me when i use deospray if i don't have time to take a bath. I mean, i do atleast take baths regularly....if not daily...well not daily...but still often. There is a lot more....but i've to attend to my Electric Circuits assignment now.....and hey everyone, check out this poem i wrote....it'd be a really fine description of my maths professor ...

MY PROFESSOR
I cannot take it any more professor!
My concentration is growing lesser and lesser
You sound like you are completely drunk
Your's is a class I'd love to bunk

I find more meaning in a donkey's bray
When I compare it to what you say
You keep going on with all that crap
While we all get ourselves a midday nap

Maybe if you were a little more brief
You wouldn't fill us with so much grief
Please continue with your ancient lore
While everyone around me is starting to snore

I don't know whether to break down and weep
Or put my head down and go to sleep
Which one to do, I can't decide
Any more of this and I might commit suicide

Abandoned by all fortune and luck
Here in your class I remain stuck
To you, I'd like to be as near
As the distance travelled by light in one year

Time dilation, I thought was just spoof
But your class is real life proof
You think you are Albert Einstein
But to us you look like Frankenstein

Oh God! Will this agony ever end?
Some kind of relief please do send
I feel as though I'm suffering in hell
Ah! There goes the blessed bell!

Hope you liked it
-Srivats...